Acceptance/Airplane

I'm sitting here restless, this is certainly not my fave kind of mood. I don't know if I'm okay with being lied to. I doubt anyone likes the idea of someone they trust doing just that. It's just unfair especially if I've put my effort into something just to find out it was all a "waste of time" (no offence). I dunno if its stupid to think I met the man of my dreams /:) I mean I'm young right? But anyway let me refer to him as that. I'll call him "Airplane" lol. After meeting the man of my dreams or the one I "think" is, I discovered I couldn't have him :) lol. According to him, he had been hurt too much from the past to really let go of it now. I don't know. I felt confused after that and had to think twice about everything. Me & Him. With him I used to think talking about personal "Feelings wasn't a priority"so we talked less of it and kinda avoided it. We tried that for a while and the more we opened up, the harder it became >_< 

Argh! I wish something in my life would fall through for once. 

It's like there's really nothing to look forward to anymore. Sad. I really do like him. I think if we lived closer we could have tried. Sadly we don't. ! He left for "just" 2 days and I missed him so bad. Talk about some attachment. "This isn't life" it just makes it hurt more.
A lot has happened. I won't go into full details, it doesn't even matter at all. Might never tell anyone the full story, I just want it unfinished and toss it in a corner and act nonchalant. I told  an absolute stranger my story and what she thought. She told me the same thing I had noted down days earlier and in a sentence she said "its a mess". Its so messy I can't think straight. I wonder if the decision I made personally is really what I want and yes it is. I don't wish to get hurt or played. It just sucks I'll have to distance myself slowly... :) Maybe I'll catch another flight and get the on the perfect Airplane.


Maybe this Airplane isn't the one...it's just another dream. One that won't come true.